It’s been 10 years of those 10 electrifying current-passing days for what brought seeing to my spirit. Even today I only think of ‘why’, was I there or was it that I was demanded by the Mother to witness it. Someone who has been away from most kind of cruelties, being born in a lineage who never tasted fish, leave meat.
May be it happened to shake wake me up for all what life revolves around, some harsher realities, some withering truths. To may be learn the ways and come out of the skin of merely being a meek observer that after a decade of witnessing it eventually brought me immense strength. And learn to observe to absorb. And I absorbed; the smell of the blood, the count of the severed big buffalo heads or peacocks, even pigs, goats, ducks and bodies of geese. And of course it were not the fallen bodies that pricked me but those dead big open eyes that were always looking at someone or the Sky but not you. And in the sky were thousands of Crows and vultures just like the ones walking alongside me, in different but same ways.
This is a tribute to myself. To have lived through those longest tiring days when I walked and walked all day long along the river, and fields afar but could not find a yard a drop of blood was not spilled, where the Earth hadn’t turned red, where someone was not holding a goat’s or a calfs neck, to slaughter it.
O Shiva, it’s been 10 long years.
I must have blinked less in those days. And ate even lesser. I marched till I had to lie flat on the ground. But those fields were not to rest upon for there were people, and they carried animals and birds whose blood, they said will ripen this land for next five years.
And you know it wasn’t those 10 days now. But the journey of this spirit in the years after that. And I cannot thank this nature enough for the churning.
Certainly, I see that I was blessed. Like we all, who are breathing, living, reading this, sensing, feeling today and that we might witness another moon of Kartik tonight.
On the Road to Nara, I re-visit this unbelievable journey to Nepal for The River of Heads; Gadhimai Mela
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sacrice or sacrifice?
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Sacrifice!
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I’m not sure you’re writing this in support of this ritual, in criticism of it, or just as an objective report. But it sounds horrific to me.
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This was the last time this ritual happened as a mass sacrifice in 2014. It might still be happening but behind closed doors.
Of course why would any sane mind support anything like this world. My work was just to document it as it was happening.
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Well, thanks for the documentation. I found it interesting, though also appalling.
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It was appalling, and might go down as the most uncomfortable days of my life that made me i imagine a better observer. like breath i was letting the events go one moment after other.
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I see. I think that’s a good idea. I, too, have found that mindfulness of the breath can be a helpful practice.
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As I read this I wondered about people (not the first time). In the tradition in which I was raised, a father had to agree to kill his only son, a son for which he and his wife had yearned for decades. What kind of god demands THAT as evidence of faith? And then the ultimate sacrifice of that religion? God kills his own son. I don’t get it. All that said, this was very interesting to read. Thank you.
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Dear Martha, lovely to be writing to you after all these months. I hope you are doing things happily and getting ready for the christmas there.
I seriously and heartachingly cannot understand why would you kill anyone. I am quite sure no divine power demands you to cull/kill someone, If the higher power wants, it takes it by him/herself.
Thank you for sharing.
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I’ve missed you! And… I think the same. Sacrifices happen all the time and they are incredibly expensive often to an innocent being. 💔 Maybe they are humans’ way of pretending to have control or power. I don’t know.
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Even reading your account was difficult so I can’t imagine experiencing it first hand though I understand why you wanted to. I am sure it had a profound effect on you but we learn much from some of the worst moments. Your account brings the reader into the event in a quite unsettling way which is quite disturbing but I always say that ignoring a situation that is uncomfortable does not make it not exist. We can only hope to improve if we acknowledge and face up to what we do not like. Nice to see you here again!
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Dearest Caro, how have you been? I am glad i am here and writing to you after all these months.
Yes, i was there like a writer/Artist should be. To embrace the harder, uncomfortable and Cruel things of life. As i wrote to Richa, that i still do not know if i enjoyed it. But the impact had been surreal to say the least and strangely funny, for it was happening for a reason I think is not in our hands. Times have changed.
Thank you for writing, and I hope to continue to share as much and whenever i can here.
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Animal sacrifice is common in India too, just not out and celebrated like the documented festival. Kshatriyas – Dussera, Bengali – Kali Pujo, and many more such customs still perform but many behind closed doors, small private ceremonies.
It takes a lot of courage to witness mass sacrifice, you not only witnessed it, documented it and also went through the emotions during the journey. It’s not easy, I’ve heard the wailing of goats during Pujo, it was my first such experience…never could muster up the courage to witness it again.
Thank you Narayan for taking us through the decade old journey once again.
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Thank you dearest Richa, it was a different me and probably i wouldn’t go there to experience anything like it again either.
It was a hard journey that I do not really know if i can say i enjoyed but i did live it.
Your important review and comment is welcome. Thank you much.
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