Even after thinking about doing something daily, one ends up doing it, achieving it, finishing it only in the head. In the head is good, as it creates enough compound interest in head but it is not good enough. I have had ups and downs, and have been away from home for some time. I was in Kashmir when article 370 was taken off. I was one of the last person to have trekked the majestic Amarnath ji this year. Without any plan or any inclination to have wanted to do it but surrendering to flow of life is such it takes you along on the paths, and you would enjoy. I fell in love with the harmony of the few people who walked along, some saints barefoot, and two without a leg who finished approximately sixty kilometres in as many days as I did. Food, sweets, tea, love and the name of shiva. But the feeling was erratic even then. Tents, people were leaving a month before. And many had already left. The way …
We all say that to ourselves. The question is: when do you say it? Do you say it when you are being rejected, failing, stuck, panicked, overwhelmed or alone? Or do you say it when you’re engaged, winning, changing things and are in the groove? Because the more you rehearse this feeling; this saying, the more it’s going to happen. We get what we expect. And we expect what we get. The easiest way to change this cycle is to alter the scale we play in. If you keep failing at the big stuff, it’s worth honing the habit of succeeding at the small stuff first. And if you’re finding yourself in a rut, a cycle of failure, walk away from that series of projects and find a new field to plant your seeds in.
Sometimes one dip changes your smile and temperature. It takes you then to places that can only be created in dreams through memories ofcourse. You walk long looking at forms, colours, patterns, walls, speculating age, sounds of children and cows, of burning dead trees and water ripples, hearing bodies visually and later language. Sometimes a small reaction changes the whole tail of events. Sometimes the start was the only end. But the dip is important. Because that is the door to nature. And nature is within.
There is magic here. And no other word can come close to expressing the invisible, that India carries. The final push to the food. The hungry mother slept on my knees. I looked for water but left only the yellow fruit. The cold moving empty train. The quaint noise. Her warmth, laughter. Still innocence. Giving is receiving. Mother Ganga.
In one of my travels a sage asked me, what is the measure of happiness? I tried guessing but I could have never known ? As I softly asked him to please stop smiling only, and say. He took his time. And said the true measure of happiness is the average of sunrise and sunsets a man sees divided by days of life. Sometimes it feels inappropriate but it is kind of apt.
Sometimes from somewhere a may be comes. Now may be is hope. It is told to you if you can run till a point you might catch what you are seeking. The time is limited. You have no idea of the way. Your resolve at first will be far from achieving it. But in the now you start running. But you realize that light has started getting darker. The steps are uneven. Some slopes. Some roses with thorns of autumn. Some puzzles to make the way interesting. If you then just gain that rhythm of not merely running but enjoying the performance of just being. Using body and mind just as a tool. That when you will even reach. There will be no one to clap. But the rewards are going to be so multiple from all the oxytocin that you created with your thoughts, with your lungs. That whole space will start treating you as you are his own. Quietly.