Visiting Grand Parents used to be the only time when the Joy of having many umbrellas multiplied the possibilities of games, laughter and Humour.
But one day without any knock, or warning grandmother died an exceptionally unusual death. All those years the perception that I carried of association, I could never feel it again towards my birth home, my birth courtyard, after grandmother was gone. No sense of belonging. My village had started to look congested. May be that was why parents must have left it. In 1982.

On the mud terrace of our ancestral home, fragrance of cow-dung cakes still brings to my mind the nostalgia of my grandmother cleaning the courtyard every morning. Even before the sun would rise; while telling me with love to keep sleeping. Upla* are still used for cooking and cleaning. And just last week were also used for lighting the pyre of my uncle. Father’s eldest brother.
Death of a family pillar changes a lot of dimension. For one It brings overwhelming, repulsive, abominable silence in homes. I felt this once I arrived in that room again, after all those years. I don’t remember the last time I was inside it. So much had changed, but also it was all the same. The sound of an elderly man taking tea from the saucer instead of the cup. Outside an abandoned mobile tower provided new patterns of keeping Uplas emerge. Sound making squirrels arrived, cows mooed, chirping birds and the circulating sound of one sewing machine handle, made heat bearable. One Charpoy* under neem tree pulled all the children to it. The tree absorbing everything and made sitting under pleasant.

I sat watching comers and goers. Nearby a hand scooping up the water from a well became its first vessel. And the fingers of both hands intertwined becoming its first basket. Elderly commanding the kids, as each command was leaving an undesirable sting in children who were forced to carry that out. Where there was nothing before, within moments a few people came together, standing just like that. Without any planning, any announcement. There was perfect mystery, image worthy symmetry, without any appeal, expectation or motif, without any words spoken they were there. Transmitting. And remarkably all sat where they stood, together. Looking, away from the body, asking what was already established and then again becoming quiet after knowing the known.
Evening dawned. A new born baby cried out of hunger. The crowd stood marvellously together. No body had eaten anything. Anything since last night. And will not eat for the next three days in that same house where the death has happened. But children were found eating biscuits which they had bought from the only shop in the village. They asked anyone whom they caught seeing them, to eat. But It was time to start the last walk. People were asked to see the face for the last time. The cries of women filled the sky again. How could an image collect cries? Or at least I shall try.
Sharing the final walk towards mother Ganga.
















: ँ :
Thank you.
If today is the first time you have arrived on The Road to Nara, you are heartily welcome ~ Namaste
: ँ :
I will take this opportunity to introduce you to About me and importantly;
As a co-traveller, taking you through Ten Lessons I learnt from several years on the road, before you coarse on your own Road to Nara.
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You might also like to know about My Little School. If you wish to come over for a visit, to share your stories or to share one of your magic tricks with children, you are heartily welcome here
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If you have anything to share, or feel like saying a hello, please feel free to write to me at nara@road-to-nara.com
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The unexpected and sudden death in the family is always heartrending and Narayan’s description of his journey up north to his ancestral village, and his feelings are not only interesting to readers learning the rituals of rural India, but profundly moving
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The death of a loved one is always very hard to deal with Narayan. A touching emotional write.
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Thank you Radhika. Yes hard, but makes one dive, learn and know so much.
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The sudden and unexpected death in the family is always heartrending, and Narayan’s description of the journey up north to his ancestral village for the funeral of his beloved uncle, the elder brother of his father, and the rituals still observed there are important as a documentary of the changing world in rural India. It is also important from the universal point of view as it reminds us that we are mortal, and one day it will be our turn. John Donne wrote this in the most eloquent way by saying, ” Never ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.”
We must offer our condolences to Narayan and his family, and hope that his next essay will reflect happier times and feelings.
Thank you, Narayan, for the photographs that affect us all, and reflect the deep sadness that we feel too.
Joanna x
Please, Narayan, delete the unfinished comment and error on my laptop.
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Yes Dearest Joanna, Uncle played around for 76 years and then one day the game was over. Just like that. We all have to go to may be come back in some other form again.
As you could feel, last week was bit tough and I felt giving, rather sharing this time here as a tribute. And as a memory. Thank you Joanna.
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Your tribute to your uncle has to be included in your future book on the rituals and culture of rural India, your words read and re-read all over the world will immortalize him, a wonderful tribute indeed, Dearest Narayan.
Joanna x
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My condolences Narayan. A sad time for you and your family. Going back to a place where once you were happy can be very emotional, especially when it is for another funeral. I think we never truly lose those we love as they are forever in our hearts.
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Caro, thank you for your words. Last week had been emotional but you are completely at that point where wisdom rises- we truly never lose the ones who stay in our hearts.
Thanks for this. Narayan x
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A difficult time—one that will always have a place in your heart, but I hope the good memories will outweigh the loss.
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Mallee, yes last week had been little hard but as you said and truly with grandmother- good memories will outweigh the loss. Thank you for sharing this here along.
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Nice Post
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Thanks Prejila.
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Immensely blessed to be near the Holy river.
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Its her grace, and always a blessing to be with her, in her waters. Thanks Ganga.
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Peace to the departed soul and souls who are left behind
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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My dearest Toya, welcome here. I was only thinking of asking you your mail so that I could invite you. Thank you for coming and coming along. And thanks for your wishes.
Narayan x
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I am sorry for your loss. The photos are mesmerizing and ethereal.
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Cindy, thank you for writing so warmly. And appreciate as much for seeing images through your eyes, which are just perfect to say that word ‘ethereal’. Made me happy.
Thanks again Cindy.
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This is purest poetry!
I’d like to quote you, from the words “Where there was nothing before,” to “knowing the known,” on my site, with credit, of course. I think the photograph of you by firelight might make a wonderful featured image for that post ~ which I would also mention. If I have your permission, I’ll do it and send you back the link.
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If you like that Ana, sure do it. I will be happy to see it.
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Good! I’ll get back to you soon 😊
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And yes, please share the link. Thanks Ana for writing.
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My pleasure, brother.
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Here you go, bro. Your photo wouldn’t upload for me, and I know the photo that I was able to find does not do the gathering justice, but I just did my best with what was available. Thank you for all you are, and for sharing it with us.
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After all that, forgot to give you the link! Here it is:
https://troubadorofversepoetry.wordpress.com/2022/05/16/quotation-knowing-the-known-narayan-kaudinya/
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Narayan, heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your grandmother. Thank you for sharing this poignant occasion with its comforting rituals. Heart-touching photos. Very beautiful! ❤
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Thank you Cheryl.
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I’m very sorry, Nara. Your lovely post and homage, your haunting photos. made me think of my own home, the human ties long gone, the only possible return? Time travel.
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Martha, appreciate very much your writing to me at this time. For acknowledging images that came close to emotions contributing to her passage. Time travel, may be if ones intensity is highly motivated in meeting the other, dreams are one medium of return. Thanks again martha.
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Death of a family pillar, like your that of your grandmother can leave a hole in our lives that may never be filled.
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Rosa, how can it. I can only learn and by that become as close to her as I can. Thank you Rosa.
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Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for writing dear sarah
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💜 SHE!!! Taught YOU!!! by Example; so Grieve Then Apply YOUR!!! Learned Lessons
…💛💚💙…
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With all my heart, certainly Yernasia. And may that be a post in her memory, to share with us all. 💜
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💜 SOMB (Rhymes with WOMB) is Soul, Observer, Mind, Body; the Body may Be Gone yet The Rest Remains in Genes and Memory in Particular
…💛💚💙…
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Thank you for sharing this amazing homage to your grandmother. 💜🙏💜
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Thanks Ashley, Very kind of you to write it as a homage.
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💜 An Open Mind is “Homage” EveryOne; it’s Crystal 🔮 Clear Clarity 🔮 that NOT!!! EveryBody Understands This Simple yet Complex Truth and Just Get Raging instead of saying I Agree-To-Disagree 😤 😒 🙄 😑 🙃 😐 😤 🤗
…💛💚💙…
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Very true dear Friend, an open mind is a homage. You are most wise. I am celebrating your writing. Thank you so much.
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💜 YOU!!! ARE Most Welcome 🙏🏿 🤗 ☺️ 😊 🙌 😀 🙏🏿
…💛💚💙…
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Nara,
What a gift and tribute to your grandma and all that knew her. Such a blessing with all of your beautiful pictures and yours burning brightly with her love for you. Love the one in the courtyard of you as a young boy.
With love as always,
💖
Cindy
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Cindy, your words touch me. And I am grateful to have you around. Thank you and you are ever so welcome.
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Oh so dear and I appreciate you as well. You are a gem and I love your writing! 💖
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First of all, my condolences, Narayan, and what a fine send-off. This was very sad, but also beautiful. At times, it can be a shock when we return to a place we knew intimately in our childhood. We imagine it as being the same throughout our long absence into adulthood, as if we could return any time and all would be as it was, that we would be as we were. To see the changes when we return – yes, for funerals and weddings – it is sometimes an unwelcome reminder that all things move on, that we too move on, though we resist and wish for the security we once felt among those we loved, and who may no longer be with us.
Best wishes.
Michael
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Michael, thank you for writing. Yes her passing away was bitter sweet. Too old but strange way of leaving, seriously, I didn’t mention it for various reasons but yes, coming back home after such a long time presents some quizzical queries. Have you watched ‘Cinema Paradiso’?
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Ah! Cinema Paradiso. You’ve reminded me, Narayan. I have yet to see it, but it’s on my list.
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So sorry for your loss!
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I appreciate your comment Dawn. Thank you for writing.
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So sorry to know about your personal loss, Narayan ji. May God give enough strength to you and your family to bear this irreparable loss. The details and pictures reminded me of my father’s demise and I had performed the last rituals at the banks of river Ganga. This is the life. Thank you, Narayan ji.
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Thank you for your warm words Kaushal Ji. Thank you.
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Beautiful photos, beautiful writing. So glad to have found the Road.
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Thank you for writing Kit. And apologies for coming this late to write to your warm words. Thanks again Kit.
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Sometimes tragic situation comes to our life and we have no option but to face it.. very emotional write up.
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True Verma Ji. I appreciate your words. And thank you for visiting, coming along on this journey.
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Beautifully shown the glimpse of our culture.Weldone,dear!!💐
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Thank you Aruna.
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Most welcome,dear🌹
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my sincere condolences, dear friend. the pictures are awesome, and haunting too. keep the beautiful write-ups coming!
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Thanks Charley, for your wishes and coming along on this Journey.
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And Thank you again. Narayan x
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My sincere condolences, Narayan.
The biggest truth of life and we all have to face it though we hardly ever think of the impermanence.
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Neel, yes I just wanted to pay my respects and remember this day and time through this essay.
Yes even though we learn in our culture that “sab anitya hai”. But it is as hard as anything to truly know it. Thank you Neel for coming along on this journey here.
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Thank you for inviting us to walk with you and your family to the Ganga. Sympathies with you all and blessings on your continued adventures.
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Thanks Dawn, its a heartfelt comment dear. Thank you.
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I am sorry for your loss, but you enrich many lives with your photos and your retelling..
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Karima, thanks for coming this way and walking along. And it makes me happy that this tribute could touch you.
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Oh yes, very much so.
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I am really sorry for your loss.
Your post is beautiful and thought- provoking and the photos are incredible!
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Thanks Luisa, a pleasure to read from you.
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You’re most welcome 🙏❣️🙏
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A most interesting story of two very sad times in your life.So very sorry for you loss. Losing a loved one is always difficult. I found your story full of great images both words and film. You must have used 400 ASA film! Night shots are hard to get, especially handheld with a slow shutter speed. Can you imagine how much your images would be different in our time with digital Photography?
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Thanks so much for writing in Dwight. Yes the time came and left.
Dwight, you ll be surprised to learn that I used my point and shoot pocket camera. It was so small and insignificant and that only gave me strength to use it while so many of my relatives stood watching. Had I been using a film camera that night I wouldn’t have got many images out of you can say ‘shame’.
Over time I learnt using small cameras to my advantage as I could come close to film look output. Even though I started and learnt from a film camera but my family or rather budget could not support the high maintenance of processing and buying films. So yes.
But see, it made me discover other worlds. Thanks so much Dwight.
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I too love how photography has evolved. I do love my used digital Nikon D200 camera. And now my old iPhone takes wonderful shots as well. Amazing.
I can see how using a regular camera at a funeral setting could be considered lacking in compassion.
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I know D200, it was a great camera. I used for the longest time D700. and yes now phone takes good care of what one needs. It is more than satisfactory.
Thanks Dwight.
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