We all say that to ourselves. The question is: when do you say it? Do you say it when you are being rejected, failing, stuck, panicked, overwhelmed or alone? Or do you say it when you’re engaged, winning, changing things and are in the groove? Because the more you rehearse this feeling; this saying, the more it’s going to happen. We get what we expect. And we expect what we get. The easiest way to change this cycle is to alter the scale we play in. If you keep failing at the big stuff, it’s worth honing the habit of succeeding at the small stuff first. And if you’re finding yourself in a rut, a cycle of failure, walk away from that series of projects and find a new field to plant your seeds in.
I arrived home. Home is where mother is at least for an Indian traveller. I arrived home after forty four days. When I started I wanted to buy new shoes. I even spent a good second half of the day in trying to get closer to what my wandering feet wanted. I had bought a pair of black trekking shoes in early August but even though there is nothing as such as over walking in the mountains but by the time I finished my journey they seemed done. Any ways I could not find new shoes and left India with the same black shoes. I traveled around Thailand and more so in Cambodia. I came back to Kolkata and while spending my ninth evening in Kashi on Chausathi Ghat I met an old man whom I felt kept looking at my still walking feet as I followed his gaze and later worn out feet. I offered if he would like to use them, winters are here and so is Kumbh. He smiled. These forty days …
Sometimes one dip changes your smile and temperature. It takes you then to places that can only be created in dreams through memories ofcourse. You walk long looking at forms, colours, patterns, walls, speculating age, sounds of children and cows, of burning dead trees and water ripples, hearing bodies visually and later language. Sometimes a small reaction changes the whole tail of events. Sometimes the start was the only end. But the dip is important. Because that is the door to nature. And nature is within.
Color of enlightenment is in the mirror. The more you see the less you speak and it sits well the other way too. The experimental chai against the settled one. Or has death became a cliche just like saffron on men or women. Kreem kund was klosed but the girls got in. Atman at one time was only vital breath.